Use your nose to be nosy and to smell
We are packing up to leave a kitchen fire, the fire now knocked down. It’s in a nicer neighborhood, but people are as nosy as in any other neighborhood. A woman and her teenagers approach. “Was that a...
View ArticleWhat ARE politicians doing that’s so important that they travel with lights...
WCBS-TV has a piece about New York mayor Bill de Blasio’s caravan ignoring stop signs and speed limits and generally driving like assholes just TWO DAYS AFTER he announced a massive plan, Vision Zero,...
View ArticleThank you for your input
Code 3 for an intoxicated subject on a bus. So there’s a drunk on the bus. What else is fucking new. There are only 3 call types involving buses – drunk, seizure, fall, and sometimes 2 or all 3 of them...
View ArticleMy mother taught me to keep my mouth shut
Especially when I didn’t have anything nice or or intelligent or productive to say. So why is it that civilians always insist on saying really stupid things to us? “Don’t let her fall.” “Do your job!”...
View ArticleOur job is…
…be calm and logically solve people’s problems, usually little problems that people apparently can’t solve themselves. This is quite different from the job civilians’ do, which is to loudly say the...
View ArticleYours is not the only call in the world
Code 3 for unknown. As we arrive at the convenience store parking lot, a man on a bicycle rides up to us and tells us that there’s a traffic collision involving 2 vehicles a couple of blocks down. He...
View ArticleI got schooled by a 19-year-old
I’m getting coffee. On duty. Yes, that happens. Leave me alone. The young woman behind the counter asks me how my day is going. “Well, I’m at work, unfortunately.” I fake a sigh. I say this all the...
View ArticleStop whining
The big news going around today is an Anne Arundel County, Maryland, dispatcher is facing termination because he told a 13-year-old girl to “stop whining” (audio included) after a hit-and-run driver...
View ArticleCYA culture run amok
One of my most hated things is going to the airport for calls. Some of the most ridiculous calls I’ve been to were at the airport. In short, airlines love passing the buck to 911 so they can cover...
View ArticleAnother unhappy taxpayer
In another story this week in idiots and groceries, this Oroville, California man is angry at firefighters for getting groceries on duty. He is in particular mad that the firefighters preferred to shop...
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